Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Like The Movies

One of my greatest fears is to end up with a life like my parents. They are not happy together. Things have happened over the years that have changed them in ways none of us can understand. As they grew through childhood they were shaped and formed by their parents, just as being around them has undoubtedly had a hand in shaping me. The tragedy is that in the beginning it wasn't like this. For a time it seemed there was a purpose for them to be together. But now it seems that whatever purpose there may have been has run its course.

Tonight, as they argued once more about everything the other does wrong, I chose to drown out their voices with a movie, and momentarily escape to a world where love is real. The movie was The Lucky One, one of the several Nicholas Sparks novels adapted for the silver screen. For me, movies are so much more than entertainment, they are an escape from reality.

The trouble with romantic movies like this is they create impossible standards that guys and girls expect from each other. I have heard more than one girl say they need to stop watching those kind of movies because they now have impossible standards for guys. My trouble is that they create impossible standards for me. I feel like I need to be the kind of guy I see in these movies, and I know full well I am not.

And I now feel like that is how real love is supposed to be—like it is in the movies. I do realize real life is much different, but that doesn’t change anything. Logic can’t always change what you feel inside.

So far in my life, the feelings I get watching these movies is the closest I can seem to come to love...or anything remotely like it. I have issues getting close to people, and especially girls, so I’m not sure if I’ll ever find anything more. And on nights like tonight, I’m not sure I want to.

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