Dear friend,
I can’t believe it’s been ten months since we went out
separate ways. It seems like it’s been forever.
I’m sitting here in class right now, not paying too much
attention. I can remember the days when I would sit here in class counting down
the minutes until you would wake up cause I was so anxious to get your “good
morning J”
texts.
There are so many things I miss about you; so many things I’m
sure I will never find in another human. It scares me to think I may never want to be
with someone as badly as I wanted to be with you. Sometimes I still cry my eyes
out because I know being with you will never happen.
I know you told me once that you don’t think I’m capable of
being crazy about someone like you wanted someone to be crazy about you. I want
you to know, though, I may not be the type to paint your name on a water tower,
or scream out that I love you in the middle of a crowded restaurant, but I was
and still am crazy about you. It’s been ten months since the last time we were
together with the hope of a future, and there is not a day that goes by, hardly
an hour even, that I am not thinking about you and missing you. You still haunt
my dreams from time to time. You are in every song that comes on the radio. I
still have my favorite text message from you in my inbox, and there are 12
voicemails from you that I don’t have the heart to erase.
So, you see, even though you’re as good as gone, you are
still everywhere. I’m afraid I will be forever haunted by the memory of what we
shared for such a short time, and by the pain of knowing I’m not the one you
want.
I know you have moved on and found love now, and I sincerely
hope he’s good to you and for you in every way. Because if there is anyone on
this earth that deserves to have a fairy tale love story, it is you. And not
that it matters much now, but I want you to know there is almost nothing I wouldn’t
have given to have been that man for you.
Please take care of yourself wherever you are. And though I’m
now just a fading memory from a past best forgotten, I hope you won’t forget
about me, and that I love you. I realize I never had your whole heart, but at
the very least I hope there is a small corner of it somewhere that will forever
belong to me. As it looks right now, you will forever have all of mine.
Take care. I wish you the best of everything. And goodbye.
