Sunday, February 17, 2013

Missing You

Dear friend,

I can’t believe it’s been ten months since we went out separate ways. It seems like it’s been forever.

I’m sitting here in class right now, not paying too much attention. I can remember the days when I would sit here in class counting down the minutes until you would wake up cause I was so anxious to get your “good morning J” texts.

There are so many things I miss about you; so many things I’m sure I will never find in another human. It scares me to think I may never want to be with someone as badly as I wanted to be with you. Sometimes I still cry my eyes out because I know being with you will never happen.

I know you told me once that you don’t think I’m capable of being crazy about someone like you wanted someone to be crazy about you. I want you to know, though, I may not be the type to paint your name on a water tower, or scream out that I love you in the middle of a crowded restaurant, but I was and still am crazy about you. It’s been ten months since the last time we were together with the hope of a future, and there is not a day that goes by, hardly an hour even, that I am not thinking about you and missing you. You still haunt my dreams from time to time. You are in every song that comes on the radio. I still have my favorite text message from you in my inbox, and there are 12 voicemails from you that I don’t have the heart to erase.

So, you see, even though you’re as good as gone, you are still everywhere. I’m afraid I will be forever haunted by the memory of what we shared for such a short time, and by the pain of knowing I’m not the one you want.

I know you have moved on and found love now, and I sincerely hope he’s good to you and for you in every way. Because if there is anyone on this earth that deserves to have a fairy tale love story, it is you. And not that it matters much now, but I want you to know there is almost nothing I wouldn’t have given to have been that man for you.

Please take care of yourself wherever you are. And though I’m now just a fading memory from a past best forgotten, I hope you won’t forget about me, and that I love you. I realize I never had your whole heart, but at the very least I hope there is a small corner of it somewhere that will forever belong to me. As it looks right now, you will forever have all of mine.

Take care. I wish you the best of everything. And goodbye.